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July 7th, 2006
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Posts Tagged ‘comedy’
BrokeBack Jamanca
October 31st, 2005
Brokeback Jamanca – a spoof of Brokeback Mountain Lately, I have been considering switching careers … a computer programmer (I might not be geeky enough), a cook (nothing that splatters because I like to cook naked), a masseuse (mayonnaise, anyone?) or a movie producer. I have many ideas for movie productions therefore I decided to experiment with that. Ideas that will revolutionize the industry. So, after saving some money by donating blood and other fluids, winning bets at different daring games, for example; Outrun the Bouncer, Tequila Body Shot from smelly women, kill man, and hole in one, I collected enough money to rent a few video cameras and … Action! Here is a trailer of my first production. You are specially invited to the premiere. Enjoy.
Tom Swenson’s Birthday
June 26th, 2005
Thomas Swenson the Third III was born in New York, New York. His family owns the Swenson’s TV dinner Company therefore; Tom has been doing pretty well financially (very fulfilling and delicious TV dinners).
While going to engineering school Tom lived in a frat house and wanted to learn the way with the ladies. He noticed that some frat boys hook up with girls after telling them stories about how wasted they got a night before and pot jokes. Young Tommy decided to learn as many pot jokes as his first technique with the ladies. He even spent some time researching other Frat houses and perhaps having a few “herbal smoke teas”.
He tried all the frat boys techniques on how to pick up women; burping, squeezing butt while dancing, screaming “Hey babe, you are hot”, farting on the first date, “Baby check-out-my-guns” lines, and other lines like; “you are awesome, baby”.
None of these techniques worked for young Tommy so after College he focused back to his career and forget about the way with the ladies. He went to law school and became a patent lawyer. While working in San Francisco, Tom read in the Princeton review that University of Colorado has been the number one party school for five consecutive days and he knew that he had to retake learning the way with the ladies in Boulder, Colorado. It is then, that he really found the source of information on how to seduce women, Latino men (sorry, I know this is a stereotype but it is part of this imaginary story). He started hanging out with an already famous puertorrican latino gigolo, Master Jose Fountains. Finally, he learned the way with the ladies.
A few years later, after been Fountains’ Apprentice, he became Boulder most wanted gigolo and decided to join a local Salsa dancing group, Macondo (that was a great time!!, we should have Macondo back in Boulder).
After seventeen years living in Boulder and running his own patent consulting firm, Tom has defined a new way with the ladies by defining first his look and behavior. For example, in his apartment, it has been said, that you can find; a nice wardrobe (including “Sexy Beast” and “Spank Me” T-shirts), all kind of massage books and creams, a very flashy Rolex and a hot tub in the bedroom (don’t bother to ask me where did I get this info. Won’t disclose my sources)
Tom’s dream job is to be a lifeguard living in a tropical island and enjoys smoking cigars and going to the gym.
Ladies of Boulder if you need an escort, Tom is the right choice for you.
You can also call and reserve Tom for any bachelorette party at;
1-800-CHEAP&DALES ask for bad boy tommy.
Happy Birthday Tom!!
Carl Nelson’s Birthday
May 31st, 2005
Carl was born, raised and educated in New England, New Hampshire. He graduated from Darmouth College with a major in geology. Soon he decided to study rocks and earth’s layers in Guatemala for his master’s thesis.
While camping up in the mountains of Techalapaga he fought wild animals with his pocket Swiss army knife and ate “gourmet” spiders that can only be found in those mountains. Even though Carl was strong and nothing in the Guatemala’s jungle could get him sick, it was written in his destiny that his true love was going to save his life…
One day Carl received a package from a “Chimiguaro” (an Inca’s delivery system that employs high altitude Peruvian runners to deliver mail to the most hidden places in the jungle. 25% higher price if delivered by horse). Anyways, Carl received a bottle of Pepsi that got him sick right away. The Chimiguaro dragged Carl to the closest hospital to get attention. His fever was increasing and he started to loose conscious. Right before he pass out the blurry image of a beautiful latin woman show up in front of him and he heard how she was talking to another woman.
- “Mamá creo que haste se lo esta llevando la bruja y el seguro medico no le cubre aqui en Guatemala. Es un seguro medico gringo que ya sabes que no sirven pa’ na!!.”Translation: – Mother, the witch is taking the soul of this one and he has a graduated student insurance that doesn’t cover here in Guatemala. It is an American health insurance that anyways is worth nothing. We might have to take care of this one.
Two weeks later Carl woke up to find out he was saved by miss Guatemala 1990, Miss Carmen Reyna. After two years of romance Carmen and Carl got married and have been together for 27 years. At the beginning of the marriage Carl was taken to dancing classes “A punta de pistola” (at gun point) by Carmen who always enjoyed dancing and wanted to share the joy of dancing with her new husband. He has been part of Macondo since 1992 (… good times; sob!, sob!) when he started dancing salsa, meringue and boleros. For many years Carl was a geologist by day and a dancer by night. Currently, Carl is the president of a Panama natural resources company. His true call in life was discovered by him in the Afrolatinfest 2002 while taking a Hip hop class.
Ever since Carl has become a radical hip hop singer and dancer mixing Geological terms in his lyrics with Salsa rhythms. You can find Carl spinning on his head at Underground studios whenever he is in Boulder or at the “Dale Muchacho” Panama hip hop club on Thursday night singing for his fans.
Tomorrow night, (Wednesday, June 01, 2005) Carl will be in town dancing Salsa with all the ladies fans at Trilogy Wine bar.
Happy Birthday Carl.
Manny’s Birthday
April 26th, 2005
Every now and then there is a story about a Macondo member that not many people know about. The legend tells that Manny was born on a stormy flight from Amsterdam to LaGuardia, flight 967. It was 197 something, once the new family arrived in LaGuardia the government didn’t know what to do about the citizenship of the new born. He was granted both nationalities: American and “Amsterdanian” (“Que disparatero!”) or Dutch. Since Manny’s parents are originally from East Africa he also got the African citizenship. If you are following so far you can figure out that Manny’s destiny was defined at birth. With so many passports and being able to speak five different languages, including “spanglish”, Manny signed up for the English Spy Agency where he worked next to agent 007 and solved many cases.
He worked as an undercover spy in Puerto Rico for five years where he was introduced to the Salsa scene as part of the operation “Shake that Booty”. After Puerto Rico Manny decided to get his Master’s in Information Technology and right after graduation he started his own business building websites and databases (I bet there is more he can do than just this. Visit extralook.com for more info). While studying at CU Boulder he met Carmen Nelson and performed as an invited dancer for a few Afrolatinfests.
Currently, Manny is still running his business ExtraLook and is in charge of Addisa Productions, which produces Latin salsa nights in the Boulder/Denver area. He is working towards another masters in something Hi-Tech and is retired as a spy … or is he?
Happy Birthday !!
Priscila Delega Spagnol
April 23rd, 2005
Chocolate childhood
(Credits : chocolate childhood short story based on a poem by Juanita Gable)
Priscilita was born in Americana, Sao Paolo in April 23, 19(..). Since a little girl Priscilita watched her mom cooking delicious Brazilian dishes; such as lasagna, “pao caseiro”, risotto, e lagarto de panela; that were a sensation in the neighborhood. She started experimenting with ingredients, pots and cooking temperatures in the small kitchen of the house. One cloudy afternoon, the cute Priscilita discovered chocolate while playing and chasing butterflies in the backyard with her sister Fabiana. It was a beautiful sunny day with light raining. Suddenly, the small drops of rain became small drops of chocolate. Right before after her eyes a pond in the backyard of the house became a pool of chocolate. She dove and swam for hours in the chocolate pool. It was the best day of her life and a significant one… Since then, she knew what she wanted to do for a sport, as a passion, for a living and one of her favorite foods. She asked her mom to put her in swimming and dancing classes so she will always remember swimming in the pond and dancing under the chocolate rain. Priscilita won many swimming competitions and dancing became her passion in life. Ballet, Jazz, Tap, Salsa, Costarrican Swing and modern dance were part of her education as she grew up in Americana. Note:It is said and well known by “Boulderaneans” that Priscila learned how to Salsa in one night at Trilogy. That same day she decided to become a chemist when she grows up to try and understand the magical and mysterious chocolate, her favorite desert.
Priscilita was born in Americana, Sao Paolo in April 23, 19(..). Since a little girl Priscilita watched her mom cooking delicious Brazilian dishes; such as lasagna, “pao caseiro”, risotto, e lagarto de panela; that were a sensation in the neighborhood. She started experimenting with ingredients, pots and cooking temperatures in the small kitchen of the house. One cloudy afternoon, the cute Priscilita discovered chocolate while playing and chasing butterflies in the backyard with her sister Fabiana. It was a beautiful sunny day with light raining. Suddenly, the small drops of rain became small drops of chocolate. Right before after her eyes a pond in the backyard of the house became a pool of chocolate. She dove and swam for hours in the chocolate pool. It was the best day of her life and a significant one… Since then, she knew what she wanted to do for a sport, as a passion, for a living and one of her favorite foods. She asked her mom to put her in swimming and dancing classes so she will always remember swimming in the pond and dancing under the chocolate rain. Priscilita won many swimming competitions and dancing became her passion in life. Ballet, Jazz, Tap, Salsa, Costarrican Swing and modern dance were part of her education as she grew up in Americana. Note:It is said and well known by “Boulderaneans” that Priscila learned how to Salsa in one night at Trilogy. That same day she decided to become a chemist when she grows up to try and understand the magical and mysterious chocolate, her favorite desert.
Carnaval
After high school, Priscila graduated with honors and move to Araracuara where she kept dancing the popular brasilian fojo, axe and samba … (singing) … “Con la mano en la cintura ela airio ela, te doy meu corazao eu quero mais eu quero mais” (or something like is how the song goes).
She could dance samba so fast that it looked like she was floating, sliding over the floor while shaking her hips. One talent scout saw her and asked her to join “a escuela do samba de Araracuara”. That year Priscila won the first price as the best samba dancer of the carnival do Brasil in 1993. One thousand “Ecolas do Samba” competed in carnival with more than 100 dancers per school for a university scholarship. She was offered a scholarship to study a PhD in Material Science Engineering with the opportunity to work in the United States for a research government agency.
Macondo and Flamenco
During the last years of her PhD, Priscila moved to Boulder, Colorado where she met with Carmen Nelson and became part of Macondo. Yes … Macondo, that was real fun. I miss Macondo; sob, sob). Ok so, Macondo is an international dance troop that was a compilation of all of the best dancers found in the Denver/Boulder area with diverse dancing backgrounds.Priscila has also taken two flamenco classes (intermediate and advance) per week, and taught Samba to stay in great shape for the presentations.
(Credits : Puss in Boots image by DreamWorks Studios)
One unwritten detail about Priscila’s life is that once she was offered a part in a movie during one of the Macondo’s presentation. A Dreamworks producer noticed her quick feet and offered her to play the Puss in Boots character in the Shrek sequel, Shrek 2. Even though she passed the auditions and left everybody hypnotized by her beautiful eyes, she decline the offer to stay with Macondo and close to her friends in Boulder.
Superconductors
Today, Priscila has been working really hard for NREL (national renewable energy lab) and making her contribution to a world with a cleaner environment. Her ideas and research will allow the future development of mass production high-T (high temperature) superconductor materials.
So, what does this mean? It means that superconductor materials will transport electricity at even faster speeds, than today’s distribution lines, and with almost no transmission loss (heat loss). This also means; super high speed cable communications and more bullet speed trains floating on air (well … they will be really floating over a magnetic field).
Priscila Spagnol won “The employee of the Month” at NREL on April 7, 2004.Her addictions are; chocolates, sleeping, dancing, stuffed bears, watch TV shows such as; Dawson’s Creek, CSI, Gilmore girls and ultra chick flicks. She also likes to video-talk with her parents and friends, make bathroom rugs, and bring old furniture to life with her crackle painting technique (you should see her furniture, it’s beautiful !!).
So that is the unofficial biography of our dear Priscilita Spagnol … Happy Birthday !!
Marisa’s Birthday
March 13th, 2005
Yes “muchachos y muchachas” Marisa is turning twenty something this Sunday.
Marisa, also known as “Mofonguito”, was born in Wyoming. Her father is from Spain and her mom American. She has traveled many times to Europe and Central America where she danced costarrican swing with Liliana del Valle (well known Latin dance teacher in Costa Rica). After finishing her studies in Education at the University of Wyoming, she moved to Boulder, Colorado to become a teacher of a high school located in Table Mesa (I forgot the name for this high school). Anyways, while studying a masters in education (ESL; English as second language) she partied like there was no tomorrow in downtown Denver (the stories are still heard by many at the local bars, - “otro tequila por favor”. She obtained straight A’s and of course hit the bars for one last celebration. After a while she met Fabio and decided to join Macondo (a Boulder based dancing troop); Macondo rehearsals were fun (- nostalgic sigh, sob, sob …).
Marisa might be found dancing salsa with some sweaty guys at Blue Ice on Friday nights. Doing the samba on Sundays afternoons at Rhumba, at the gym (where she goes almost every day), running after a ball (not running with the ball) in soccer practice and/or hiking the mountains of Boulder.
Other Marisa’s Facts
- She loves “Sex and the City” the TV show not Sex and The City
- She is a hell of a Samba dancer. Everything shakes when she shakes
- She is a great friend
- She has a great personality and loves to laugh
- Almost nothing stresses her out and…
- Get that hell OUT of her way if she is driving towards you!! (Don’t tell her I said this but anyways be careful)
By the way, we are going to celebrate Marisa’s birthday this Sunday March 13, 2005 starting at La Rhumba (Boulder) at 2:30 pm.
Then we are heading to Priscila’s place to have a delicious chocolate cake and sing happy birthday to her in like five different languages. Then, we are continuing the celebration at D’note to keep dancing until the very end of the weekend.
So, here is the summary
What: Marisa’s Birthday DAY of celebration
Where: Starting at Rhumba but it is going places
When: Sunday, March 13, 2005 @ 2:30 pm
See ya later,
Finally the Friday is here, thank God!!
V.
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