Pachanga Diaries

I just got this smartphone and decided to film my first video about Kat.

She doesn’t thing is funny to be videotaped.

Did I say videotaped? That is so 1990′s.

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After a long vacation (two weeks) in Puerto Rico, sweating and dealing with the humidity I realized I smell.

There were a few times in which I forgot to wear my deodorant because I was out of my surroundings. I just jumped out of bed, took a shower and walk out of the door with the next project in mind. You see, every time I go to Puerto Rico I ask my parents to give me a list of things to do or fix around the house. So, instead of laying on the beach taking the sun or salsa dancing my ass all night long, I just spend time with my parents and go to home depot a lot.

A few days into fixing a kitchen cabinet I smelled myself. My under armpit smell is one of a metallic origin. I wonder if the aluminum in the deodorant gets into my sweating glands waiting for those moments deodorant less to get out with a vengeance.

Aluminum and Lipton soup. Yes, my underarm pit smell is similar to the smell of boiling cheap liton soup. We puertorricans, always make fun of people with smelly underarm pits by calling them “Sopitas Lipton”, Lipton Soups.

So today, to detox myself from those deodorant ingredients, I decided to isolate myself from the judging society and not wear deodorant. I can’t barely stand myself but I appreciate my pungent smell … it makes me feel human, a smelly masculine human.

Pheromones will dictate whether you find someone attractive or not. Maybe not wearing deodorant will increase my chances of attracting women. It is an easy (and lazy) way to screen out those women that don’t find me attractive.

If they think I’m smelly then they will walk away with a disgusting face. If they stay and start flirting with me, then I’ll ask for her phone number.

I should follow through with this experiment.

It is 7:12pm, time to take a shower.

Have you liked someone just because of their smelly ways? I would love to hear what you have to say. Write me a small comment below.

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- Women do it at the Beginning, Men do it at the End. What is it? I’ll buy you a drink if you guess.

update: BEG

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- Not Everyone Who Shows Up Is There To Help You

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- Miss Piggy should be the Next Oprah

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- Only in 2011 you take a picture of your junk and get screwed for life by your own penis.

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- Only in 2011 you take a picture of your junk and get screwed for life by your own penis

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- Masturbation is more effective than Saint John’s Wort to treat depression. ha !

http://curetogether.com/blog/2011/05/03/23-surprisingly-effective-treatments-for-depression-one-year-later/

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- Gender Psychology – Men, on average, think about sex every 7 seconds.

(on an unrelated note) – Yeah! I Just scored a Free Donut !!

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ROYAL FACT: Do you know; The Bride says “I Obey” instead of “I Do”? The royals have it right. ha !!

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- hotornot.com says I’m a 9.2 hotty !! Nice !! I wonder what kind of women are ranking my pic?

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Everybody has seen the video of the super granny beating a few bad guys with her powerful purse.

This made me wonder what other super powers super granny might have.

1. Slut Shout – Turns short slutty skirts into Nun robes by shouting to  woman “Slut !”.
2. Telepathic Ear Pulling – When she pulls her ears misbehaving children have no match to her telepathic ear pulling powers
3. Boomerang Dentures – Knows a thief from a distance by throwing her boomerang like dentures
4. Instant Freeze – In the presence of burglars she can touch the thief and paralyze him at site until the police shows up by diving him a severe case of arthritis
5. Gadget Purse – Her super purse not only contains candy, a bible and powdery makeup but only a turbine walker she can pulls car chases.
6. Slobby Kiss of Death – This is the most terrifying super power. Villains fear the super slow motion full of slobby saliva kiss. She can kiss a villain to death with her granny’s pucker kisses

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As a Latin man I realized we don’t have to remember any names. We just go;

- senhor !! very good to see you -

OR

- senhorita!! you look beautiful today -

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- ” … I don’t care, my vaginal structure is a twisted tunnel … “  -

XGMTUYK6WNUM

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